Cream Lemon

so…

fer and i were talking about a choose your own adventure.

we figured that, since it’s going to be a lemon, we should maybe go with tenchi. XD the “you” is tenchi, and look at all the pretty options you have!

and instead of dying horribly, fer thought of something even more awful. but we’ll save that for later.

anyway, does anyone want to help us write that? i’m gonna make a diagram for my grep choose your own story. i think we can work with that some.

and the beauty of us doing one here is that it doesn’t have to make any sense, the order we read the chapters. XD

i just have to figure out how we’ll set it up for this. i think we would want to use the pages instead of the posts. right? anyone else have anything to add?

i have successfully integrated our older posts into the database! may they never be lost into the void of the intarwebz again! :D

i’ve also gone into the database and manually edited the authors by hand. hopefully i got everyone. when you read through the stories, take note of who the author is. if there’s anyone that seems off (i know it’s been five years, but you never know), just let me know. especially if you remember doing a chapter and it’s been assigned to someone else.

you’ll also notice a changed the sidebar just a little to accommodate the different stories. any objections? :D

also, i think we might want to install the plugin that disables commenting in older posts (we can set how old… i’m suggesting 1 month). i won’t do it right away, though, just in case anyone objects.

i haven’t read through all the stories myself, so please make sure to report errors of any kind, not just author mismatches. the dating is way off. it’s all approximate, as i simply changed the year from 2007 to 2002 in every post. hopefully i got them all, or the ordering will be really messed up. speaking of that, we might want to consider doing a navigation post for each story so random people who read the stories don’t get confused by its backwardsness. the first story is so long you need to click into a separate page, for example. that’s a little confusing. :(

the only story i reread entirely was “pudding, dildo, akio-car!” i don’t know why. >_> i’m tired and i didn’t want to read a long one, i guess. plus i wanted to read the one with silver dildos in it. :) for some reason i couldn’t stop laughing when the akio car suddenly had tentacles, as if it was expected to have tentacles all along. >D

okay, that’s it. i await your thanks for restoring a vital piece of our grep heritage. :D

*edits* i decided to change “series” to “eras” because “series” suggests that they go together in some way. >_> again, are there any objections? or better suggestions? ;D

turkey slap
gymstick

omg, there were others but now I can’t remember them. x_X

this died faster than a snowflake in a frying pan -.-;

just so you know

do we wanna write something? >_>
(more…)

okay, so it’s been brought back from the dead. and with its resurrection comes the end of an era. the end of what i call series 2, as i just posted the ending to the last fanfic which really, really needed to just be over and done with. series 1 would be our first stories that we did over blogger. some of our best, actually. we need to get those linked up over here ASAP, actually. or, i have this awful idea, i could manually enter in the old entries and backdate them (and assign them to the correct author, of course). time consuming, but at least it’d all be in the same database.

so now we’ve got series 3. who knows what we’ll write. maybe nothing? i know we’ve been kicking around some ideas for miss muffy fanfics. >:D how about in the format of how we did “the new one”? but more strictly enforced? i think we got carried away, especially myself with the ending. >_> we started off with a few sentences each, but they kept getting bigger and bigger.

i’m kind of against another self-insertion fic. and we’ve declared akio car and laetitia casta to be off-limits, right? x_x

also, a word about actually logging into this thing. usernames and passwords should be the same, but it’s been, well, years since we’ve had to log in. even i couldn’t remember mine. there’s always the password retrieval, or you can contact an administrator and they have permission to change your password (or tell you your login ID if you forgot that too :P). i’ve made myself, jbeth, and lbeth administrators. no real criteria except we’ve been in it since the beginning and are currently wanting to continue this thing. >_> so yeah. i made dg and kley editors since their chapters are exceptional and they’ve also been around since the beginning. usa’s an editor because her work is exceptional as well. regular authors are marsie, minako, sisko, and venuswillow. i didn’t set anyone as a contributor. and subscribers are endy, katie (lily), kita, mike, neomarsie, and silvermask. why? because i have no idea if you people even care about the revival of this place, and i’m not really sure if i care since i haven’t spoken to the majority of you in years. >:P

and that’s that. where were our series 1 stories, anyway? did you have them on your domain, lbeth? feel free to send me the links, or just edit the sidebar yourself if you want. :D or make a new layout! >_> if anyone wants to do that, go right ahead. :D

even though i have, like, very little time to devote to this place, i’ve missed it soooo much, even just to go back and read our old stuff. which i’ve been doing quite a bit the last few days. it’s like reading them fresh! :D

Queen Beryl moaned as Lex Luther plunged his wriggling tongue in her hot, steamy chamber of passion. There really is nothing like good cunnilingus. He inserted his tongue in her clitoris over and over as Beryl screamed out in simultaneous rhythm. She wrapped her claws around his bald, shiny head. Strangely, she started moving her hands up, down, and all around. Lex’s head began to glow as Beryl gazed into it. “Ooooh, I sense an evil presence, and it isn’t the Negaforce.” She then orgasmed. Unbeknownst to Lex, her woman-cum was absolutely deadly. She came all over his face. Lex began to scream in pain as her acidic juice began to eat his face off. “MWHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!” Queen Beryl shouted. Lex Luther’s head had been reduced to a skull within seconds.

>^o^> ONE HOUR PREVIOUS <^o^<

Nurse Washu rammed a vibrating suppository up Queen Beryl’s fudgehole. “Just gotta check for anomalous growthage!” she explained. “Liar! You just want to have anal sex with me!!” Beryl snapped. “You’ve found me out!” Washu confessed. “K, let’s do this,” Queen Beryl suggested. “K,” Washu agreed.

Washu drank her secret formula that she was working on. The vile read “Instant Hermaphrodism” along the side. Washu suddenly grew a schlong above her cunt. It instantly got hard, and she rammed it up Beryl’s already vibrating ass. “Ohh, tight! Let me loosen that up for you!” thrusting harder and harder. “Yes, oh yes! YES, Nurse, ram it up there!” Nurse Washu began to feel a tingling sensation in her massive stalk. “Must be the Pocket Rocket I put up there, hehehe.” But it wasn’t the Pocket Rocket. As fast as her member grew, it began to disintegrate. Beryl’s shit was toxic! “AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!” Nurse Washu screamed, falling over backwards in shock and pain. Queen Beryl squatted over her face and shat in her screaming mouth and all over her face. Nurse Washu wasn’t screaming for much longer since her skin and brain had evaporated. Beryl pushed out and out shot the Pocket Rocket. It shattered Washu’s skull.

Queen Beryl left Nurse Washu’s office to find where Lex Luther had gone. She needed to dispose of him once and for all, now that she knew her bodily excriments disintegrated organic matter on contact. All was going according to plan.

>^o^> ONE DAY PREVIOUS <^o^<

“Soon, very soon, my machine of ultimate destruction will be complete!” Lex Luther said, stroking a giant metal machine which had a striking resemblance to a silver phallus. Apparently he had built a secret device which involved amplifiying matter and ejaculating it to hundreds of locations around the earth. He planned on using cyanide, or something lethal, to hit targets around the world. Then hold the world ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

But it was really hard being evil and doing all this evil stuff without good help. It’s so hard to find these days. So he put an ad in the paper: “EVIL MINIONS NEEDED ASAP 555-0666,” it read.

>^o^> PRESENT <^o^<

Luckily, since good help was so hard to find these days, killing Lex and Washu was all Queen Beryl needed to do to gain full access to Lex’s phallic machine. She entered the place in which he kept it. There it stood, tall, hard, and shiny. She walked up to it. She read the instructions. “1. Place substance in box. 2. Press button. Seems easy enough,” said Beryl. “Now all I have to do is pee and poo and cum in this box and I’ll have exacted my beautiful revenge on this wretched planet!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!1″

She began to pet her pussy, and all the hair around it. Such long, wavy, red hair. It began to stand up, much like the hair on her head did when something important was about to happen. She inserted her index fingernail, still brightly coloured red, followed by her entire finger, hoping not to cut herself in the process. Didn’t matter though. With her other hand, she tried to fit her entire fist up her ass. She always had a thing for ass fisting, plus her rectum had already had a nice workout thanks to Nurse Washu.

Suddenly, Superman and Aquaman and Batman and Robin and Wonder Woman barged in! “NOT SO FAST,” Superman shouted. “Oh, but i like it fast,” Beryl replied. “Come over here big boy and I’ll show you why.”

Superman and Aquaman and Batman and Robin couldn’t help themselves. Queen Beryl reeled them in. She ripped off Robin’s clothes and ran her tongue down his bare, smooth chest. Superman ripped his own tights off, much the same way he rips his regular clothes off. He was really good at ripping clothes like that. Aquaman and Batman started undressing each other.

Meanwhile, Wonder Woman floated over to the other side of the room while no one was looking. She began to disable the weapon of mass destruction, for great justice.

Queen Beryl let herself down on Robin’s juvenile cock, inserting it into her dripping vag. They both moaned with pleasure as Superman jacked off fiercely in anticipation. He couldn’t take it any longer! He rammed himself up in there too! Once Aquaman and Batman caught a glimpse of Queen Beryl’s exposed and stretched anus, they decided they wanted a piece of her instead of each other. At the same time, they pounded their freshly-risen baguettes up her backdoor. Wonder Woman couldn’t help but witness the horror unfolding before her. “OMG! Double vaginal double anal!” She pinched her suddenly perky nipple in excitement. “No! Gotta finish this first!” she said, finding a way to disable Lex’s machine.

Ten minutes later, after several orgasms from all five of them, Beryl began to wonder why they weren’t dropping dead. There was cum and shit and blood and pee everywhere. Wonder Woman figured it out, and the machine exploded. Queen Beryl came again, as did the other four. “Okay, why the hell aren’t you guys dying!? AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BIG METAL DICK!?” The guys pulled out and slipped off their trusty condoms and held them up. “ALWAYS use protection!” they said in unison. “ALWAYS.”

Wonder Woman slapped her shiny lasso of truth around Queen Beryl. “Oh, anything but that!” Beryl cried. Suddenly, Wonder Woman caused the lasso to ram up Beryl’s vag like a tenticle monster. Beryl screamed in joyful pain. But Wonder Woman made it go too far, and Queen Beryl was stabbed straight up through her stomach. “Oopsies. Oh well, she was evil anyway.” Everyone laughed as she tossed Beryl’s dead body aside.

“Hey, I hear King Candy Corn’s got this launch party for his new corn site. Wanna go?” Robin asked the others. “SURE!” they replied.

THE END.

and just remember: ALWAYS use protection. ALWAYS.

I had a whole shitload of emails from spam comments so I’m doing something I should have done ages ago (why didn’t any of you beat me until I changed it?). I’m stopping the email alerts for comments. :P

I volunteer to start compiling a list to review. If anyone would like to start sending me links, you can go ahead and IM them to me or whatever. And actually, if anyone at all would help me review at all *coughlbethcough*, that would be so awesome. Because I just know you’re all dying to read mock them…

can i end it, or are you guys really set on finishing it yourselves based on plans you’ve made?

Now that I’m free from summer school, I can share my idea with you - leave feedback! Basically, my suggestion was to start a section where we review certain bad fanfics of our choice. In the long run, it will probably help us in our bad fanfic writing skills. I dunno about the rest of you, but my bad ideas come in spurts and vanish just as quickly…therefore my writing sucks. I’m pretty sure it will help/entertain us as a group.

I want to start a new story based on Mike (poli for us all)and his trip to England. Basically I’d like for it to go along with Sailor V, and maybe a visit from the Hogwarts gang, and the Beatles.

I just want Mike as the only real life character other than that we have to be really creative. Let me know what you all think and if you think it is a go, I’ll write the first chapter.

If SiM will post the next chapter that he’s been promising me for months, I will write a conclusion since none of you seem to be interesting in adding anything to the current story.

Also, Kita told me about a great idea over IM, but I don’t want to steal her thunder so just nag her until she posts it here. :D

“We have just gotten word that the Legion of Doom is planning to attack downtown Tokyo!” said Wonderwoman.
Everyone Gasped.
“To the Batmob– Shit. Tokyo is across an ocean, isn’t it?” inquired Batman.
Everyone groaned and nodded.
“Wait a minute. We don’t find out about their evil plans til the next chapter!” said Apache Chef dubiously. “Surely there must be some sort of timewarp going on right now!”

“No, our detection equipment is just that badass.” replied Wonderwoman, absentmindedly checking her ass in the chrome of the hot rod’s wheels. “I’ve already alerted everyone else, they are on their way. I’ll fly us all out on my invisible Jet at 1800 hours.

“1800 what?” asked Batman.
“6PM you fucking retard!” yelled Superman.

“Holy fucking insults, Batman, are you just going to stand there and take it?” said Robin.
“Don’t ever talk like that outside the bedroom, Robin.” retorted Batman.

Everyone pretended they didn’t hear.

“So anyway,” began Wonderwoman, “That leaves us just enough time to hit the Starbucks next store. It’s going to be a long night, boys.”
“The night isnt the only thing that’s going to be long tonight…” Thought Aquaman as he rubbed his hot and sweaty crotch with anticipation.

At 6PM ET, all the superfriends met to board Wonderwoman’s invisible jet.
“All set?”
“You know, boarding an invisible jet has always been very akward for me,” said Batman as he began to mount one of the boarding ramps. Nobody said anything as he continued, “I’m always afraid that –” before he could finish his sentence, Batman stepped into nothing and fell over the edge of the boarding ramp with blank stare of dismay at his comrades. Everyone laughed hysterically as they dragged the unconcsious Batman into the inivisible Jet and put him in the bathroom. Everyone took their seats as Wonderwoman cleared the jet for takeoff.

“Welcome aboard Wonderwoman Internation Express Airlines” came the voice over the intercom, “Please remain seated in an upright position and seatbelts firmly fastened while we prepare for takeoff.”

Later during the in-flight movie, Aquaman got out of his seat and pretended to have to goto the bathroom. He went back, opened the door to find Batman still passed out, and sitting on the toilet. Aquaman sneakily closed the door to the bathroom and proceeded to undress Batman. He leaned him over the sink with his juicy melons facing him. He then began to hump batman mercilessly while he was unconscious. Batman began to come-to during the escapade but was promptly knocked cold when Aquaman performed a particularly hard thrust and his head was rammed into the wall of the small compartment. Aquaman was so intent on his sex thing that he didn’t remember that because the invisible jet was invisible, everyone was watching him until he started hearing groans from beside him. He looked up and to his horrer he saw everyone was jacking off and spewing their stringy cum all over eachother as they watched him fuck Batman. He gave one last thrust and had a confused look on his face as he spurt his manly juice into Batman’s tenderized ass. “Uhn” he groaned with pleasure.

The only three people unawares of what was happening behind them were Wonderwoman, because she was driving the plane, Robin, because he was busy licking her womanly folds, and Batman because he was unconscious. Wonderwoman picked up the intercom, and said “ohhhh, please take your seats and put them … oooooh…. into an upright position …. uh yes! …. while we pre…. preeeee …. PPREEEEEE….. PREEEEPARE FOR LANDING YES LANDING OH YES YES YES LAND! LAND THE PLANE YES! PUT THE PLANE IN THE HANGER! OH YES! YES YES!!” she orgasmed while Robin spewed his seed all over the controls of the plain.

“OH SHIT!” Wonderwoman cried in dismay! “You’ve shorted out my controls! Now I’ll have to land manually!! Hold on guys! I’m making an emergency landing!”

Everyone buckled themselves in and prepared to land in the Bay of Tokyo unexpectedly. Little did they or the legion of doom know that their current problems were nothing compared to the confusion that would be caused by a newcomer to the Rhealm of Evil. Yes. Mistress ninety was busy casting one of her devilish spells in an ancient manor in the middle of Tokyo’s Central Park. “It is finished!” she cried with pleasure! “Now all the superheros and supervillains of this stupid little planet will be unable to stop me!”

Not long after, back at the Hall of Doom, in the Bay of Tokyo, the legion was having their own little bit of excitement…

Meanwhile, it was interview day at the super secret hideout of the Legion of Doom. Lex Luthor had a headache. Interviewing new applicants always gave him a headache. Most of them just had shit problems like not getting hugged enough as a child or making the wrong friends in highschool. He couldn’t work with rejects like that, he needed evil.

And then he found it the six foot woman with a bad dye job walked through his door. She had all the proper credentials: evil, meglomaniacal, strict, and no stupid weaknesses like shellfish phobias. She did list one weakness: “princesses”, but so what? The Justice League was full of queens, not princesses. There was only one problem. She gave him those feelings that made him want to claw at his electric chastity belt. If this kept up his fingers would blister again.

The woman subtly inched her legs further apart, strenching the already taught fabric of her skin-tight dress, running her arcrylic nails down her arched neck and massaging her voluptuous breasts with her hands. “So,” she said harshly, “Do I get the job?”

“Yes, yes you certainly do,” replied Lex. “Welcome to the Legion of Doom, Beryl. Please proceed to the infirmary for routine examinations.”

“That’s Queen Beryl you insolent worm,” she hissed icily.

Lex Luthor’s custom-built electric chastity belt crackled in warning.

As soon as Beryl walked in the examination room, Nurse Washuu felt her nipples get hard and pointy with excitement under her uniform…

I realise that some of you have no experience with the Challenge of the Superfriends, so I thought i would provide some materials to help.

Heres stuff on Legion of Doom. We want to use Solomon Grundy and Toyman a lot. They are just too amusing to let up.

here’s stuff on the Justice League. Note that Wonderwoman is the only female. Think mass gangbang, people.

Also, I think that random anime villains would be appropriate. Sim is working on the next chapter, so that should help out with that. If you have any questions, let me know!

“Holy sausages, Batman! You’re huge!” said Robin.
“Yes I know,” replied Batman with a sigh, “This damned herbal suppliment is making my face swell like a copulating blowflish.” Batman rubbed his face self-consiously, he was embarrased to feel so exposed in front of his life-partner, Robin.

“Beep! Beep! Beep!” went Batman’s nifty wrist communicator. Batman took one look at the display and instantly shouted to Robin “To the batmobile!”

Meanwhile, in the Hall of Great Justice there was much commotion. “Aquaman!” cried Green Lantern outloud. “I’m on it!” cried Aquaman, “But it’s so big! What are we going to do!” cried Superman in dismay. “Don’t worry, I’ve called upon the help of Batman and Robin to help out!” as Aquaman pushed harder. “You of all people know how tight I am right now,” said Superman. “Yeh, I know, I’m sure they will work it in over time so it doesn’t hurt so badly.”

“Phew. These certainly are hard to move when they don’t have gas in them,” related Superman as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. “It’s aweful nice of Batman and Robin to help me pick it out and lend me the money so I could buy it. It’s just too bad it didn’t come with any gas. I knew those Americans were going to gip me somehow.”

With a final grunt, Aquaman pushed the hot rod all the way into the garage on the back side of the Hall of Great Justice. Just then, the batmobile drove up and screeched to a halt. The Dynamic Duo jumped over the sides of the car and ran to see the new arrival. “That’s slick.” said Robin, staring with delight at the sexy, hot rod. Batman nodded in agreement and slowly carressed it’s smooth surface. “This will be great.”

“Hey guys, stop drooling over that car, we have a big problem!” cried Wonderwoman as she ran into the garage. “It seems that the Legion of Doom is at it again!”

“Where to?” inquired Superman as he prepared to take flight.

“You’re never going to believe this…” she replied.

I feel like starting a new story… Let me know if this is workable.

“HOW?!” The rest of the people asked.

Yaten smiled a knowing smile. “If I know Voldermort, and I think I do because let’s be honest he pretended to be me while ravaging my now dead supermodel girlfriend, then I know he’ll fall into any trap involving Harry Potter. And if I know even more about Voldermort, I know that he’ll want to have sex with Harry Potter and infuse him the the deadly cum.”

“But how is that possible Yaten? Harry Potter doesn’t have a puss to cum in” Oscar said, in a very confused manner. He knew that not everyone could be a super special hermaphrodite.

“Yes, but Harry Potter IS a puss himself, so it all makes sense!!” Seiya said excitedly, and the rest of the crew understood. “All we have to do is lure Voldermort to the time space continueum where he ruined Sailor Pluto for other men, and she’ll take care of his dumb ass!!”

The rest of the group thought about this and agreed: it was the prefect revenge. They had Taiki write a letter to Voldermort because everybody knew that their writing skills didn’t hold a candle to Taiki’s. Taiki wrote a very believable letter to Voldermeort pretending he was Harry Potter, saying that it was high time they sort out there problems and come to a truce. The letter was sealed and each member of the group gave it a good luck kiss.

Yaten smiled his knowing smile.

****

Letting out a wicked laugh and throwing the letter into the air, Voldermort rubbed his hands together evilly. He knew the time would come when he would triumph over Harry Potter. It was destiny. As he went to meet Harry Potter at the time space continueum, he laughed to himself. What a stupid little boy, to think that he would ever call a truce. Did Harry Potter know NOTHING about the evilness he was? Apparently not, even though he had tried to kill him several times before.

As Voldermort approached the scene of the soon to be committed crime, he saw the boy who lived in the mist, and the smile on his face got even grander.

****

“Do you really think this will be okay?” Harry Potter asked Yaten. He was watching Voldermort approach and suddenly didn’t feel so good in the pit of his stomach.

Yaten nodded. “See, he wants to kill you, as we all know. And since he is also a dangerous, incestual pedophile” - Oscar gasped and reached for his pengina, those were horrible accusations and sort of turned him on - “he will want to kill you with his snake venom as he fucks you.” Harry Potter’s eyes widened in fear.

“Oh don’t worry, you don’t have a pussy.” Said Seiya. Harry Potter was relieved. If nothing else, he weren’t no fucking pussy.

As Voldermort got closer, the rest of the crew hid, moving to their positions of attack, their plan falling into perfect place. Harry Potter held out his hand as if to shake on it (just like he had planned with the others), and Voldermort grabbed for it. He pulled Harry Potter close to him and whispered into his ear “You’re all mine now, and no one can stop me!!!!1111″. With a quick movement, he whipped Harry Potter around and pulled down the boy’s pants.

Harry Potter didn’t know what to do - this wasn’t in the plan. Sure, he didn’t have a pussy but he wasn’t in the mood for a good ass raping. But it didn’t matter. Voldermort lubed up Harry’s bumhole with his own spittle and rubbed it in. He was getting so turned on. He grabbed at Harry’s penis with his free hand (the other was busy unbuttoning his robe) and played with his kibbles and bits. Then, without warning, he plunged his manhood into Harry’s rear entrance. Harry didn’t so much as scream, but instead pushed back onto the throbbing beanstalk and rode Voldermort like a donkey. Voldermort thought to himself “Him and that other one, Ron I think, must fuck for him to be this into it”. He grabbed at Harry’s hair and said “What’s my name bitch?!”

“VOLDYLOCKSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Harry yelped in ecstacy as he came to a release, and Voldermort released into his own precious backside. They both slumped over in exhuastion, but Harry had a smile on his face. “You have fallen into your own trap, Voldermort” he said. “I have wizarded my asshole to be poisonous to any snake that enters except for Malfoy’s.”

Voldermort looked at Harry in shock as he realized it was true. He HAD been fucking other boys, even if it wasn’t Ron…oh right, and now he was poisoned. The two sat there for a minute which seemed like less than a minute because they were both starting to die and when you are dying time passes by so quickly. They reached the 5 minute mark and knew that no one was going to save them. Sailor Pluto watched from a distance (because she can’t ever really die, who would watch over the time continueum and make sure that things like this didn’t happen on a regular basis?), as did the rest of the team. Tears were springing from their eyes. They didn’t expect to feel bad about murdering Voldermort, and who would have thought that Harry would die too?! After all, he didn’t have a pussy. The two enemies decided to embrace, but this only turned Voldermort on. He prepared to mount Harry one last time…

****

Over time, what was once reality because a mere story, and what was once a story became legend. People would forever talk about the night Voldermort and Harry Potter died, Voldermort behind Harry, ramming his love tool deep within the anal caves of Harry’s youth, bending over to kiss the boy’s hairless rump one final time. No normal citizen would ever know why or how the events too place, and no one seemed to care. It was such a hearbreaking love story.

But Yaten knew. And so did Seiya. As did Taiki. And Oscar (and it still turned him on when he thought about it). As well as Sailor Pluto. Plus Luna. Artemis as well. A letter was sent to Mirelle Casta, informing her that she would never again have to worry about the strange red eyed man.

Every once in awhile, when you see two burning stars in the sky so close to one another, a bigger and scarier one behind a smaller and weaker one, think of He Who Must Not Be Named and The Boy Who Lived. Together forever, as the prophecy had foretold. Afterall, theirs is a love story that will last the test of time.